Another Cliched Title
by guineasaurusrex4848
Summary: I know the title is stupid. Please don't judge the story on it! So basically it is about Cartman getting revenge on Clyde and Wendy, but no one will help him so he is out to get everyone and then a bunch of crap goes down. Sucky summary. Give it a chance
1. Chapter 1 Fuck It

Chapter 1

Fuck It

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**K so this is my first story and if people are actually reading this, I actually got the balls to post the story online. Good for me. So back to the story I just kind of started writing it out of no where and had no clue what was going to happen but now I have a plot and am all good! So I am super un-confident about sharing what I write with people so it may suck. May not. On with the story!**

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Ahhhh! I wake up screaming, sitting up quickly to see the water stained walls of my bedroom, still hearing the echo of Kyle Brofloski screaming "You bastard!" I sigh and fall back down on my bed, seeing we are no longer at the bus stop, and drunk Charlie Sheen is no longer hitting me with his shiny new convertible._ Hasn't anyone ever told that bastard not to drink and drive? and what the fuck was Charlie Sheen doing in a small mountain town in Colorado? Fuck it._

Suddenly Eric Cartman's voice was blaring from the other side of the room. "Kinneh! Pick up the god damn phone! Respect mah atoritah! Kinneh! Pick up the god damn phone! Respect mah autorit-" I ran over to get my phone off of my messy desk and answered it before I had to hear any more of Eric -I'm big boned god damnit!- Cartman.

"Hello?" I answered sluggishly.

"Dude were you asleep? You have to stop sleeping in! You can't skip anymore days of school than you already have! You're gonna be late for the science test!" Stan Marsh responded, being the moral center instead of Kyle for once._ Ugh! I wasn't sleeping! I freaking died! Again! Is it really so damn hard to remember your friend getting mangled by Charlie Sheen's car?_

"Yeah I was sleeping in sorry. My alarm never went off, and by the way did Cartman change your ringtone too? Seriously when the fuck did he do that?"

"I don't know, but seriously get to school. I told the teacher you were in the nurses office, and she's starting to get suspicious."

"K be there in 10" I responded and hung up on Stan. _Screw being polite._ I stood up from the chair I was occupying and walked over to my closet before noticing that i was still fully dressed for some reason. Weird but it happens sometimes.

"Woohoo school." I say to myself sarcastically as I grab my backpack and run out of my house into the rain. _When did it start raining? Oh well. Fuck it._

xxx

"Loo loo loo I got some apples! Loo loo loo you got some too! Loo loo loo lets make some apple sauce! Stick it in your mouth and Loo loo loo!" Butters Stotch sang cheerfully, while getting his lunch. I always thought that song was dirty but clearly Butters was oblivious like usual.

"Hey Butters?" I said wondering if there was any way some could possibly be that oblivious of the dirty and inappropriate.

"Y-yeah Kenny?"

"Just wondering do you think that song sounds inappropriate?" I asked

"Well why would it? Its just about eating applesauce. Uh... Isn't it?

_Unbe-fucking-leivable. I mean people are rarely as screwed up and perverted as I am but come on, really?_

"Yeah right so where did you hear that song?"

"My uncle Bud sings it all the time an' its been stuck in my head since. My uncle Bud is a weird guy. He says and does alotta weird stuff." Butters said with a shudder.

"But enough of that though. how's your day so far?"

_Well that was weird._ But before I could respond to his question, cartman walked over with his best swagger, which basically looked like he had a stick up his ass.

"Why hello fags. Could you please tone your faggotry down a little bit. It may offend the elderly." Cartman sneered

"Shut up fat ass!"

"Eh! I'm not fat I'm big boned!"

"Well you must have a-"

"Pretty big bone in my ass. I know Kinneh I know. Be original for once. Or are poor man whores incapable of creativity? So sad. So sad. " Cartman said with fake pity.

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP FAT BOY!" I yelled at him. Butters was just quivering in the corner like he usually does when this happens. And why the fuck does Cartman always have to involve Butters in this? What the hell did he do?

"Well fine Kinneh. I will leave you gaywads alone this time" Cartman said while sauntering off.

"Poor Eric." Butters said when Cartman was out of earshot. "Anyone who picks on people that much must have alotta problems."

"Butters, everyone has a lot of problems, and some people are asses because of them, but Cartman is an ass because he is a soulless racist dick" I responded to Butters excessive optimism.

"Well yeah I s'pose Eric is kinda a-a dick isn't he?" I laughed at Butters swearing because he just sounded so out of place.

"Yeah he is. Well I'll see ya later butters!"

"See ya Kenny!" Butters responded with a wave goodbye.

The kid was just SO innocent. As beautiful as a thing like that is, in the back of my head I've always thought of destroying his innocence. It sounds terrible, but there's something about the challenge of it that sounds appealing.

_God Cartman's right though. I am just a dirt poor man whore who will hit on anything that moves. But I've always been that way, so who cares? Besides, I would never do that to Butters. He's a good kid and he deserves better than me, especially because I really only like him for the challenge. Don't I? Oh fuck it, I'm being stupid. Time to eat a crappy lunch provided by the school because I'm so fucking poor. Like I said fuck it. _

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**Crash!**

"Oh my god they killed Kenny! You Bastards!" Kyle and Stan screamed as my car slammed into a tree.

I was sitting in Stan Marsh's living room and we were playing video games like usual. You thought I actually died didn't you?

"Well at least it didn't hurt like usual." I said under my breath as Stan and Kyle continued their epic race without me.

"What dude?" Kyle asked curiously.

"Oh nothing, you wouldn't get it." I replied smiling somberly as if my constant deaths were a fond memory from the past.

Kyle looked at me briefly and shrugged, knowing he wouldn't get any more information out of me.

At least now that I'm out of the game I can just think. And by think I actually mean mentally play a porno in my head, and reread my favorite playboys off of memorization.

I'm a terrible person like that. I memorize porn like super genius Asian kids memorize multiplication tables and the first gazillion numbers of pi.

After a while of entertaining my excessively horny self by "thinking", my train of thought travel to other things I have been thinking about lately.

"Hey guys?" I ask, remembering my friends were actually still in the room.

"Yeah" They respond unanimously, because everyone but them knows they are so gay for each other that they practically share the same brain.

"Do you think that butters is really as innocent as he seems. Like he clearly is abused by his family, and that can really screw a kid up. It doesn't make sense for him to be innocent like that."

"Well he could just be innocent so that he doesn't have to face the reality. I mean it's easier to be completely oblivious than come to terms with the truth, especially if the truth is as terrible as his is." Kyle responded wisely.

"Yeah dude, if I had to deal with that, I think it would prefer to be totally oblivious of how bad it is. Besides, he really is just a naturally optimistic kid so he sees the bright side of everything anyways." Stan said, adding to Kyle's thought. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh I was just kind of worried about him is all. He said something weird today so I was just wondering what you thought."

"Well what did he-" Before Kyle could finish his question, Cartman burst through the door looking furious.

"Guys you will not believe what I just found out!" Cartman stormed out of the room and into Stan's kitchen grabbed the cheesy poofs in the cupboard and plopped down on the couch next to me. He always was a angry eater... and a happy eater... and a depressed eater... really any strong emotion.

"What is it this time fat boy?" Kyle asked knowing someone had to.

"I will ignore the comment Kahl because I am freaking pissed!" he responded.

"Well what is it? Get to the point." Kyle said, knowing this was not going anywhere.

"Wendy Slutterburger has a new boyfriend, and guess who it is? Guess."

"We don't know Cartman, just tell us." Kyle deadpanned.

"Clyde. How the fuck is Clyde better than me? I broke up with her so she isn't fucking allowed to move on faster than me!"

"And what does that have to do with us?" Kyle asked.

"Well you're gonna help me get back at Wendy and Clyde." Cartman said like it was obvious.

" Why the fuck would we do that?" I asked, seriously wondering why he thought we would actually help him

" Well you guys hate them too so it would be in every ones best interest if that hippie bitch-"

"Dude even I don't hate Wendy and I probably have the best reason to." Stan said referring back to there relationship back in elementary and middle school.

"Well you're going to help because you guys are my friends"

"But we don't like you." Kyle said stating the obvious to everyone but Cartman.

"Yes you do god damn it! You know what? I'm not gonna take this crap! I will get back at you and hippie bitch! Screw you gahs I'm goin' home!"

When Cartman was gone I asked "Should we be worried?"

"Nah, but Clyde should though. Knowing him we should tell him to tell his parents to hide in a bomb shelter for a while." Stan said shuddering, thinking about Scott Tenorman's parents who Cartman made into chili.

"What do you think he's gonna do?"

"Dude I don't know but it can't be good."

_Hooray Cartman's screwing up even more peoples lives and we are yet again in the fucking line of fire. Ugh! Fuck it, fuck it, __**FUCK IT.**_


	2. Chapter 2 Falling

**So yeah chapter 2... Yuppp so I don't know what to write for the authors note so yeah... Well I will say poor Butters in advance and the thing about Butters dream is all symbolic and stuff, so it took forever to think of. In short I suck at writing dreams. Oh yeah, and I also forgot to mention last chapter, italics are thoughts. Kind of important... Well that is all I've got for now so here is chapter 2!**

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"But dad I said I was sorry!"

"Don't you lie to me!"

"But I am! I didn't mean to not close the cupboard! I just kinda forgot 'cause you told me to get the newspaper and then I forgot to go back and close it!" I said, quivering in the corner of the kitchen.

"No excuses mister! Your mother or I could have hit our heads on it and what then? You need to stop being a screw up!" Mr. Stotch yelled at his son, slapping him across the face, adding injury to insult.

" You are grounded mister! Go up to your room!"

"Yes sir." I mumbled, tears in his eyes because of the slap and also just some real tears.

I walk over to my bed and curl up into a ball and let out my feelings for a while, and then I walk over to my window and look out like I usually do when I'm grounded.

_My dad is right. I am just a little screw up. Why can't I just learn to behave myself and not mess everything up? Why, why why?_ I sit up and look out the window to watch the family of birds in the tree in the front of my house. They were all sitting together in the small nest, cuddling up together to shield themselves from the typically freezing weather of South Park. _Aw, that's cute. Why can't my family be like that? Oh yeah, I just screw it up by not behaving myself. Why did I have to ruin my family? _

Before I could continue my thoughts, the birds flew off at once, and I saw the cause of the birds being startled directly after. Eric Cartman was stomping up my road and up my driveway looking furious.

"Oh hamburgers, what does he want this time?" I said aloud, and then realized I'd been crying, and he would never let me see the end of that one if he caught me crying again.

I ran to the bathroom in my room and did my best to get rid of the red splotches all over my face. I heard the doorbell ring and the stomping of my dad's feet to get the door.

"Hello sir, I need to speak with Butters. This is of the utmost importance, you should understand." I heard Eric say, using his "business man voice", which I always found downright terrifying, because that means he usually gets what he wants, and when Eric wants something, it usually includes the downfall of another person.

"I'm sorry, Butters cannot talk to any friends right now. He is grounded."

"Yes I understand. I too am all for imprisonment and corporal punishment as a way of keeping inferiors in line. 'Tough love' the authorities call it. As much as I accept your punishment of your child, like I said, this is of the utmost importance"

"First of all we do not inflict corporal punishment on our son-"_ Well that's just a no good stinking lie _"-and second of all he is not allowed to have visitors when he is grounded."

"I understand sir, but the fate of the world depends on it, if you would just let me upstairs." Eric said, changing his tactics slightly.

My dad paused for a moment and then said "Fine, but you only have five minutes."

"That's all I need." Eric responded, and then I heard his loud footsteps coming up the stairs. _Oh nutsack! _

Just as I was about to mentally scold myself for swearing, Eric barreled through the door of my room and flung himself onto my bed.

"Well h-hi Eric! Wh-what brings you here?" I asked, trying to hide how worried I was about his unexpected visit, and mentally promising myself I would actually say no this time.

"Well you see Butters, it is funny you ask, because I need your help."

_Here we go again._

"W-with what?"

"I have been betrayed, Butters. I asked my so called friends for help, and they turned on me, becoming the evil creatures they are inside, and now I need help with what I first asked for help on, and now this. Butters, you are the only one left on my side and I need your help to take the others down.

"I don't really get it. What was the problem again?"

"The **problem** is that Wendy is a slut and Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are dick faces!"

_Not this again! No! I will not be a part of helping Eric hurt everyone, especially Kenny. I sighed while thinking about Kenny. When did I start liking him again? It just sort of happened over time and there is no way back now._ I realized Eric was still in the room and said the thing neither of us thought I was ever going to say.

"Well I got none of that the first time but- but I'm not gonna just do what you say anymore! Now I have had just enough of you just- just using me for your own gain, and I'm not going to help you hurt others anymore!"

Eric just stood there shocked for one second and then asked "What?"

"Y-you heard me Eric, I'm not helping you hurt people who don't deserve it anymore! I'm done!"

"Well fine! I will get back at you too! Don't mess with me Butters. You are now on my list! My list damn you! Screw you Butters! I'm going home!"

When the door slammed shut behind me, I fell down on to the bed, occupied by Eric minutes later. _I actually did it. I stood up for myself. It feels pretty good._ Then I remembered Eric's threat for not agreeing to help him and any happiness I felt seconds ago completely vanished.

"Aw hamburgers now look what I've done. Now I'm really gonna get it, and all for standing up for myself." I muttered to myself, standing to sit by the window again. _Oh well. at least now I'm free from Eric. And that definitely makes up for whatever he is planning. Doesn't it?_

xxx

My eyes stopped hurting after a while of staring at the snow. The brightness of the white everywhere really can hurt after a while. That is why I flinched when I saw the giant blur of color coming my way from down the street. I saw a bright flash of orange and my heart sped up. _Kenny._ When I looked up I realized it actually was Kenny, along with Stan and Kyle, and my heart rate went up even more.

"Well heya fellas!" I called out to them when they were in earshot.

"Hey Butters, whats up?" Kyle asked.

"Oh nothing really, just grounded again, so I can't go anywhere." I responded, seeing clearly none of them were shocked by this answer, for clear reasoning.

"What for this time?" Kenny asked and my heart fluttered at his voice like it usually does.

"I forgot to close the cupboard."

"Really dude? that's ridiculous. Your parents really need to get those sticks out of their asses." Kenny replied, and I smiled at the way he chose to say that, because I would never think to say it like that.

"Y-yeah that's probably true."

"Hell yeah it is."

"Have you been sitting in your room all day Butters?" Stan asked.

"Well yeah basically. Eric did come over for a little bit though." I said thinking I should probably warn them about his threat.

"What did that fat piece of shit want this time?" Kyle asked exasperatedly.

"Well he said something about getting you guys and Wendy back for something a-and that I should help him, but I said no and now he's outta get me too."

They all looked shocked for a second. "You said no to Cartman?" Kenny asked.

"Y-yeah but now he's after me 'cause of it." I said worriedly.

"Well good job with finally standing up for yourself, and not just being his slave. We were waiting for the day you decided to stop taking his crap." Kenny said

"Dude, I wouldn't worry about it. What is Cartman gonna do on his own? He's never had at least some help." Stan said helpfully.

"Th-thanks fellas, but aren't you just a little bit worried?"

"Not that much. We got so used to that fat tub of lard he can't intimidate us anymore. We can take him."

"Dude we better get going." Kyle said, looking at his watch. "We'll miss the movie."

"Oh shit you're right," Stan replied quickly.

"Well bye Butters!" they chorused while walking away.

"See ya fellas!" I replied cheerfully.

I walked back over to my bed and collapsed down on it, elated by seeing Kenny. It was amazing how little things like this could make me feel better. Just short conversations, or even saying hi to Kenny in the hallway could just increase my happiness by a million. I smiled to myself and sighed with pleasure, thinking about how happy I would be if there was something more there.

He was always the nicest person to me, and really seemed to not mind my flaws and really dislike my parents for how they treated me. He really cared, and that alone meant the world to me. If he could actually like me a portion of the amount I like him, then I would be the happiest person in the world.

_But that will never happen. We don't make sense together, and he would never like someone like me. I sighed and closed my eyes. If he was there this morning, he woulda never let my parents treat me like that. He woulda protected me like he always does. He wouda-_

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. I knew it was my mom because my dad would have never knocked.

"Come in!" I called, and my mom opened the door and walked inside.

"Time for dinners Butters. I made pasta."

"Yipee!" I said and followed my mom down the stairs.

_I can think about my problems later._

xxx

I'm sitting at the edge of a deep abyss. The sun is setting, falling deeper and deeper beneath the horizon. I watch the colors fade away from pinks to purples, growing darker and darker. The sun disappears and the sky fades to black.

Suddenly I feel a push on my back and I am hurtled forward into the abyss below. I look up to see the retreating figure of Eric Cartman, walking away from the cliff. Then, as I fall, I start hearing voices; my parents.

"Butters! you behave yourself!"

"Go to your room mister!"

"Don't you talk back to me!"

The voices of my parents got louder and louder, scolding me for nothing in particular, as I fell farther and farther looking up at the black sky.

As I stared at the sky, I saw it slowly transform. Stars were suddenly materializing into the sky, getting brighter and brighter until I couldn't see. Now I was surrounded by white instead of black still hurdling towards my death.

I saw the ground growing closer and closer until I was feet from it, and then before I could hit the ground, I saw a flash of orange light beneath me, and woke up back in my bed, drenched in sweat.

"Well that was a weird dream." I mutter to myself, sitting up in bed now. I stand up and walk over to my window, and see that the stars are both there, and of their correct brightness.

I sighed and walked over to my bathroom to get a drink of water. I grabbed a paper cup with the letter K on it, and a picture of a koala underneath that. After I got my water, I felt better and crawled back into bed.

I thought about my dream, wondering what it could have meant, trying to remember the details, but having trouble. I soon gave up, and sighed for the millionth time that day.

_It was probably nothing. I should just go back to sleep, and hope or a better dream._ Just as I thought that my body complied graciously, and I fell back into a deep sleep.

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**Yeah so I also apologize for the lack of humor in this chapter, but it's necessary for the plot. Also Butters life is just damn depressing in the first place. So yeah I thought I'd add that and also on the last chapter, there were supposed to be seperators between the sections, but they didn't show up so hopefully it will work this time! Also one more thing to mention. I really like reviews, so PLEASE review if you can! Thank you to the people who have or will review!**

**From S**


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